counting coots

Stop!  To ensure that the atmospherics of todays offering are correct, go back to the title of the post and put on your horror-movie-trailer-voiceover-voice on.  Go on.  The super deep gravelly voice that scares children but makes adults laugh because it is a bit stoopid really.  You know, the one that you can only do for a couple of words before it hurts your throat. And makes you cough.  But is occasionally worth it.  Now try again.

They're - baaack....

Excellent. 

Now see if you can read the next paragraph out loud (or if you must, internally) - but still with the horror-movie-trailer-voiceover-voice on.  If you don't follow the instructions, you will not get the most out of the post.  Now come on, play along!

In a world where everything was tidal, he was a humble patch birder.  He thought that they had gone, but this winter they have returned.  To haunt his dreams....  They are back, and this time they have abraded tertials.  He, armed with nothing more than a copy of the the old Collins and the Big Gull Book, must I-D them all.        Before.    They.    Send.    Him.     Insane.            From the maker of Death On the Wandle, and I Know What You Moulted Last Summer, coming to a patch near you - Thing stars in Dodgy Gulls Of Winter Part II - The Hunt For The Cachinnans....