You see this pigeon?
I despise it. I wish it were dead. A bit strong you may think, but it's only a pigeon and I will of course explain why dear reader. Now I'm not one for going around wishing animals or people dead (excepting the odd octogenarian African despot of course), but this pigeon really gets on my bloody tits.
There are plenty of pigeons around here and they spend their time breeding and impersonating other bird species. Why only yesterday I was trying to get on some funny looking Grey Plovers picking their way along the Thames when a dark morph Hobby followed a GBB up the river, just after the Cuckoo was bombing around Wandsworth Park. Except I didn't. Because they were stupid coloured pigeons being bastards. But this one is special. Because it is white. Because it is white and it flies around and it has black bits on it. The initial thing that I see is WOW! Followed a millisecond later by 'oh for fucks sake you stupid fucking pigeon - go awaaaaay!'. It variously impersonates Little Gulls, Little Terns, Pied Kingfishers, Avocets, Owls, Gyrfalcons etc etc and it really winds me up. It also has a habit of flying across my field of view when the optics are up to my eye. Which really winds me up even more. Bastard.
See it again?
Now he's got a friend. And guess what? This pigeon has lovely white spots near the end of it's wings. Just like a fucking Nightjar. Stupid bloody bastard pigeons.
Go awaaaaay! Shoo! Go on - geddout! Bastards.