I have a confession to make

Monday, March 22, 2010

Some time ago, there was a theory that I may have been Bill Oddie.  I didn't say either way if I was Bill Oddie or not.  It was fun for a while.  However, I must now confess, that I am not, have never been, or indeed shall ever be Bill Oddie.  I am not him. No siree, not me.  He does not write (or likely even read) this blog.

Why have I confessed this after all this time?  Because my cover has been blown!  That's why.  I am no longer just an anonymous bloke that witters on from an obscure corner of London about some rather ordinary ornithological occurences all the time.  Someone knows what I look like, the anonymity is over. 

I went to see these birds right, and there was a bloke there and I guessed who he was cos he told someone his name, and we spoke and he guessed who I was and he was right and now he knows what I look like and I know what he looks like and he knows that I'm not an old grumpy short bloke with a beard.  So he knows who I am and I know that he knows who I am and he knows who I'm not but I knew that all along and he knows that this is me doing this and that all this 'cracks him up' and I know that he knows that this is not someone else.  He knows my real name too because Thing isn't my real name nor is it Bill and I know his name but none of that was a secret anyway not really but it was anonymous until now and I was totally undercover but now I'm not because someone knows my face and nobody did before.  Right?  So there you have it, my confession.  I say it again, I'm not Bill Oddie.  I'm glad I'm not living that lie anymore.

A Treecreeper doing undercover, sort of.


Ernest said...

Well, the chances that you were Bill Oddie were vanishingly small... 1 in about 6 billion or so isn't it? Which means that the existence of Bill himseof is well nigh impossible!
I noticed a wee tinge of Oldism, Beardism and Grumpyism in there. 2/3 of me is upset now.
Well. not really. After all, the chances that I exist are, as shown above, vanishingly small.
for a similar reason, if you buy a lottery ticket with the aim of winning the big prize, you are advised to make your purchase within 5 minutes of the tills closing.
You have a much greater likelihood of dropping dead between then and the draw than actually winning (1 in about 14 million) so you can tweak the odds a bit by buying late!
I'm a statistical old Hector!.

Des McKenzie said...

Aha ~ rumbled!

Despite blowing your cover to me, Mr. Thing, fret not. Your undercoveredness is safe with moi, my beak is firmly shut.

Hope you enjoyed the wise six.

Steve Gale said...

This is just the sort of thing that Bill Oddie would write.

Anonymous said...

Oh bugger, does this mean I am not Bill Oddie's Dad anymore?????????

Dave said...

Great, I thought I was sure of who I I read this post and am thoroughly confused about myself as well as the Thing...jeez, where's a mirror when you need one...

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